Once Were Angels Part two

I promised a little more from my current WIP Once Were Angels.  This novel is becoming a little bit special. Yeah, I'm actually enjoying working through the revisions on the first half ( ha! there's two words not usually found together 'enjoying, and revisions'). I'm using Camp NaNoWriMo (starting April ) to  finish it up, then after a few more tidying sweeps-- Alpha readers! Anyway here's is a little more from OWA's draft files.

Excerpt


“This place is rather grand isn’t it? Prettyish. All a nice, big show.” She murmured, looking out the window toward the crystal-bright sun and the city basking in its light. Omega's ivory spires towered, aglow with radiant majesty almost as if they were seeking to outshine the sun itself.

“But what is it really like?” The question was a sideways avenue, to what she really wanted to know-- why would Odez ever want to leave this? But she left that question unspoken. The silence stretched a time until his almost muted answer cut the space between them. “It’s quite grand and its inhabitants quite blind to anything but its grandness."

The System of Worlds, as prescribed by the Archon-See,
rulers of Omega

“So they don’t care about us humans then?”


“They care to the extent that the System works and that Omega is safe.”


“The System?”


“It’s complicated.”


“I’m smart.”


“I’m sure you are.”


“You know I am.” She mused slowly, a half smile tripping across her lips.

“I should let them explain things to you then.”


“I don’t trust them.”

“You don’t trust me either.” Odez countered softly, his eyes suddenly a little bit darker, a little bit dangerous.


“No.” She whispered, “You got me there, Dez. But you seem the lesser of two evils right now.”


“You should sleep first.”

And right on cue her body responded to his words, like it was some sort of hypnotic suggestion. The resonance of his voice perhaps. Her eyelids felt sluggish and the pressure of her hands upon the window got heavier as she leaned into it. “Maybe you are right?”

As she turned away from the spectacle of Omega City she noticed the slump of Odez's shoulders, the darkening around his eyes. It was almost as if she was feeling his exhaustion rather than hers. She wasn’t the empathetic type, never had been, but then this connection (or whatever it was) was deeper than her own will, beyond her control. As they walked back into the bedroom, their shoulders brushed together and that accidental closeness seemed like the most natural thing in the world.


Those strings, she thought. I wonder if there’s any way to snip them before this gets complicated.

Once Were Angels Part 1

So after having a long break from the writing over the summer months I'm slowly getting back into it.  First thing on my agenda is continuing last years NaNoWriMo Novel (now renamed Once Were Angels)
In case you peeps are curious. Here's a little snippet from the opening...

Chapter 1

(The Visitor) Illustration by Joey Cataliotti

To those he might pass on the street, the visitor would look young and serious. They would say, there goes a man preoccupied, squashed under some heavy burdensome thing, crushed by his own cares.

That was far kinder assessment of his character than his own kind would give him.  Behind his denuded, forever scarred back, THEY would glare, mutter and rage.

He didn’t care. He flinched, turning the words over and over in his mind, willing them to become truth. Speaking of—long ago it so happened that truth became lies and lies became truth. The worlds turned and there was no going back, only forward, ever forward. A calamity of circumstance. Tops gone turvy.

Everyone craves purpose and acceptance. And it was that unfortunate truth (wrapped in lies) that had brought him here, walking down this street—walking toward her.  He moved swiftly, his long-legged momentum was god-like, unstoppable, though to the particularly observant eye the strides might teeter on frantic. The visitor was in fact a man plummeting (fallen far) though one could not be certain if his destination would end in death or salvation.

... (to be continued)

I'm still working on that opening and even if it's not exactly right yet I'm pretty confident I'm heading in the right direction. AT LAST!   

It's at this point I'm going to recommend critique partners. They are really, really helpful! One of the reasons I've probably progressed so slowly in the past is that I have been holding back from getting critiques because heck! I know that there are things that don't work in my stories. "Somethings not right, but I'm not completely sure what it is..." Without confirmation I was blundering round in the dark and it's so damn easy to get over-zealous (cut,cut,cut) "oops I've thrown out the baby with the bathwater."

Critique partners can really help illuminate things-- those stinky little problem areas, as well as the dang-flashy rock-star bits that work. You see the process of writing can create such a whirlwind of ideas that it's uber-easy to get lost in them. A good critique partner is like a compass. They can point you in the right direction and help you find your story's north again. 

I'm gonna follow this up soon with more from Once Were Angels, and a few more concept sketches done by both myself and my wonderful illustrator Joey Cataliotti.

Goals for 2016

I finally got around to posting on 2016 goals. Thanks Judy L Mohr for encouraging me to be brave enough to declare them. 

So they are posted up on my art blog, reason being that they are broader creative goals rather than simply writing goals. I've tried to make them as realistic as possible because life will get crazy-busy with young ones, pending house renovations and caring for all our animals. I find if I put to much pressure on myself I encounter a strange form of hopeless indecision paralysis. "I have so much to do, but what do I do first?" *panics and promptly buries head in sand*.

Anyway check out the post on my art blog. Here's the link- Amuri Art: Goals for 2016 . I'll try my best to forge forward, one small step at a time. 

Across A Sea Of  Cloud by Jessica Colvin